Rediscovering Me

Self-Care in a Box

There are a lot of articles on the internet about self-care. The most common self-care activities practiced by people include:

Meditation, yoga, and breathing exercises

Exercises

Massages

Eating healthy food

Napping or taking time for yourself after a stressful day at work

Reading books, watching movies etc. to make yourself happy and content

Taking care of your mental health by consulting a therapist or psychiatrist if needed.

You Need to Accept Yourselves Before Anyone Else Can

The self-love movement has been a trending topic for a while now, and a new study shows that it is more beneficial for mental health than other therapies. The study showed that self-love therapy had better long-term success rates in improving mental health and well-being than rejection therapy.

Another way to ensure that you squeeze in self-care are subscription boxes. I had the luxury of trying out a care box from www.myTherabox.com. First, let me tell you how great it smelled before I even unwrapped it from the mailbox. The first smell was eucalyptus, and then lavender. Right away I knew I was in the right hands. The goodies inside included a bug repellant, a bronzer, moisturizer, and even a BOOK! Yes girl, a whole book!! —Talk about Self-Care, huh?!

Receiving this box reminded me of how important it is to put myself first, or even just a top priority. There are times when we indulge ourselves heavily into our friends and families lives, that we forget about us.

So, you like, “Sis, I need details on this box!” I got you….

First things first. Let’s talk money. Each box has over $120 work of self-care goodies, and boxes start at just $35! Now for what’s inside….

First things first. Let’s talk money. Each box has over $120 work of self-care goodies, and boxes start at just $35! Now for what’s inside….

We all know that the summer and transition into fall brings out the critters. To safely make them disappear from coming near you can try it out here. The woodsy smell makes it perfect for a summer-fall fragrance. Bonus: It’s DEET free.

I’m not sure if you live in California, but the sun is always hot and bright. This is perfect for after the beach of a walk around the block. I promise I have never experienced a sunburn until I moved to California. This for sure was needed. Fun Fact: This product was made by women and is all natural and cruelty free.

Regardless of the time of year, it is important to get your water in. This powder gives the needed enhancements for those who workout, or who happen to be in the heat for a long time. We have a trip coming up and these will be within arms reach.

Earth Harbor | Sunstone Hair Revive Elixir

As a natural girl, this treat was appreciated. Oil is something my hair loves and I was super excited to see this treat. This gem uses the superfood nutrition of seaweed and coconut—A Natural Girls Dream!! Just simply massage this oil into your scalp and feel your hair follicles rejoice.

Vitamasques | Super Bamboo Light Day Cream

Whether you are trying to soothe sunburnt skin or treat a severely dehydrated complexion back to healthier state, you can’t do wrong with a healthy skin cream. It is free of harmful chemicals and is everything your skin could want. You can find more information here

Wicks + Scents | Lemongrass Vegan Bar Soap

Jumpstart your day with a burst of sunshine with this vegan soap bar. It smells like heaven. The scent of it was welcoming me through the box. If you are not a morning person like me, then this bar is what you need to get your day started.

Chiky Botanica | Glow Nectar Finishing Bronzing Oil

Now, don’t think just because you are high melanated that you can’t use a little bronzer. This oil gives you skin that beautiful glow that looks perfect with your amazing legs. This bronzing oil is a mixture of sunflower, jojoba, and Aragon oil…yall know we love us some oils!!!

Pivot: Five Practices to Strategize and Support you Through Change

This by far my most favorite item in the book. I love self motivating books, and this one is perfect. This book hits home with all the current events. This book could not have come at a better time.

These were the items in my box, and I couldn’t be more pleased. If you are into self-care like I am then you should definitely try it out. You can head over to their website by visiting www.MyTheraBox.com. If you sign up, you can receive 10% off your purchase by using my code: SUMMER10. I hope that you find a little time for yourself and also invest in your mental health.

A partnership with TheraBox, but the opinions in this blog post are my own.

Conclusion: Putting Time into Ourselves is Vital because We’re All Worth it

Categories: Lifestyle, Rediscovering Me

Mother’s Day Away

That special day of the year that is set aside to celebrate the wonderful women who labored those closest to us has passed. Yes, Mother’s Day 2021! Did you get special homemade gifts, or did you get something expensive? Well for me I did a first for me. I went out of town with a friend for the weekend. I recently took an emergency trip back to my hometown, and it felt good to not have to worry about anyone else, so I figured I would do it again. There were a few things that I learned during this trip that I will be sure to remember next time.

So, I contacted my closest friends to see if they wanted to disappear for the weekend with me. A few of them had plans already, but one was open to the idea and that’s all I needed. We decided to spend the weekend in Santa Barbara, California. It is a very beautiful, and expensive area. I’m sure I passed a few Hollywood Stars, but I’m really not the one to be pressed about someone else. Now, if I passed Angela Bassett..Honey, she would have to call security..Oh, and Tessa Thompson. But, I tell people all the time to Google me honey!! My girls actually think that I’m famous. Cute, right?! But any who, the area was really nice, and the weather was decent.

Our first stop was to eat, of course. I can’t really brag on the place because the service was poor and the food was not great. It really started the weekend off wrong. After the experience there, I was actually ready to return home to my family. My friend and I tried to keep the purpose of the weekend alive, but I could tell that it put a cloud over here attitude as well. We then found our hotel and went to freshen up a little. The hotel was very cute, and had that simple Cali vibe to it. My friend has a thing for hotels, so she picked it out. I’m fine with just a clean, comfortable room with room service.

We then return to the streets of Santa Barbara and did a little window shopping and just admired the views. We stumbled across this place called Milk and Honey. Now I will list this one because it was delish! The drinks were on point. (Had ya girl doing the gangsta lean) and the food was very well prepared. Our waitress was pretty cool too. Her name was Emma. (Hey, Emma girl!!)

That night we returned to the hotel and slept like babies. I even caught my friend snoring a little. Listen, when you have a whole bed to yourself…you just spread out and let the Lord use you. No one standing over you like a horror film, and no one tapping you on the shoulder at 3am. IYKYK

And then there’s Mother’s Day! Now y’all know that I am not an early riser. My dear friend was up before the roosters. Chiiile, I was like we could never be roommates. Nope..I do not do mornings under NO circumstances. We got to moving and had breakfast. The highlight of Sunday was our facials and massages. I’ll be honest and say that the establishment was really nice. I have had better experiences with the services, but I did get to take some cute pictures. From there we had a late lunch and then headed home.

I missed my family so much! It was just one day, but I just love them so much. I was welcomed with roses, a homemade picture frame of the girls, and some Givenchy earrings and bracelet. Girl, I love some jewelry, and my husband has no boundaries when it comes to spoiling his favorite girl.

I really hope that you enjoyed your day, but please remember that you are an amazing mother every single day. It takes a lot to get up and keep this little humans healthy, happy, and alive. I do not think that having one day set aside to celebrate us is enough, but I’ll take it for now. I want to encourage you to take time for yourself every month. Even if it is just a whole day just staying in bed with the remote and Netlix, then do that. You deserve it.

Categories: Rediscovering Me

Reclaiming My Identity

I can recall trying to talk about this with my husband a few years ago. I sat with him and tried to get him to understand how I felt lost as a stay at home mom. I couldn’t put it in words that could make it make sense, but I knew what I felt was real. I saw other moms jogging and loving on their kids as if everything was perfect. Little did I know, this was a common feeling that most moms experience.

My journey as a stay-at-home mom began in Oct 2013. At the time of pregnancy, I didn’t have the intention of staying at home with my daughter. That all changed once I saw those big beautiful brown eyes for the first time. I knew that I could not trust anyone else with her while I returned to work. I went about my day as usual…nursing, changing diapers, sneaking in a meal and shower, but I didn’t know that I was losing me, Summer.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love everything about being a mom. It’s just that one day they become a tad older and you start to realize that you are just a mom. Like, what happened to me going to lunch with a friend? Shopping at my favorite boutique? Getting my eyebrows threaded ALONE!! What happened?! Being a mom is what happened. Everything changes. We have to somehow include our kids in our daily routines, and we pour so much into their wellbeing that we forget about us.

This feeling is depressing. It makes you feel as if you earned that degree for nothing. Like, you became certified in that skill for nothing. You sit and ask, ” What am I supposed to do now?” It wasn’t until I began therapy that I realized that I wasn’t alone. Being a military spouse is hard enough. We leave friends every 3 years…Unless they leave us first. And now I’m just sitting here looking a mess and no friend to come over to have an adult conversation! This sucks! But, I am here to reassure you that it is 100% normal to feel this way.

I wrote a post previously about how loc’d my hair, and now I feel amazing. Since then I have also added a few new outfits that snatch me all the way together. And guess what? My neighbor makes earrings for a known celebrity, so of course, I had to scoop up a pair or two! Before becoming a mom, these things were so normal, but now it feels like a real treat to get these simple items for myself.

One thing that I’ve noticed is that my girls see the glow. They see the change, and I love it. My youngest daughter said to me recently, “oh, you cute!” I felt it all…all the love, the admiration, and just the little sistah girl moment we had. It was AMAZING!! This is what we want right? I’m starting to realize that this journey is for me, but the transformation that my girls see in me will help them as they grow and recognize the changes that we are women go through.

Categories: Rediscovering Me

Perfect List for a Productive Year

Sis!! What it do boo?!! Girl, Let me tell you. I’ve been here trying to get my life all the way together. My husband is home on leave, and I’ve been in bed chilling like I don’t have any responsibilities. But I’m here!!

I want to share with you ladies somethings that I have learned in my journey thus far as a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM). I have created a list of the top 3 things that I am sure to help you become more productive and live with intention as you take on 2021 and all the surprises that can come along.

Get a Planner

gold ipad beside stylus — Photo by Jess Bailey Designs on Pexels.com

I am sure you are questioning my judgment right now, but yes a planner is needed. One piece of advice that was given to me years ago was to run my household like I am the CEO of a corporation. That means I assign tasks, I schedule appointments that best fit my schedule, and most importantly….I TAKE DAYS OFF!! Yes sis, I actually have days marked in my calendar that says “Summer’s Day off”. Prior to Covid, my husband encouraged me to get away to a hotel so that I can clock out completely!! Those were the days! In order for you to be successful and mentally available, you have to take time out for yourself. If you are unable to take days off, I suggest you speak with your spouse and schedule mornings or evenings off.

Schedule Household Tasks

You need a set schedule so that you will be more productive at home. I recently started setting days that I complete certain household tasks. For instance, on Mondays I deep clean and do laundry. I only do laundry on Mondays. I know what you are thinking, but I promise you it works for us. You might find that doing a small load daily will be more productive for you, but sticking to the schedule is what is most important. If you want to go the extra mile then hire a cleaning service to deep clean for you. Now if you are anything like my Grams, she would not allow this, but I love it! Search Groupon for deals so that it is also budget-friendly.

Set Personal Goals

As SAHM’s we always put our family first. This upcoming year, I want you to pencil in some time for yourself. I know that in some areas, salons and such are closed down, but find ways to pamper yourself at home. Every night I take time for myself by just taking a long shower or bath. I recently started adding a nice facial mask to keep this almost 40-year-old skin glowing. Sis, you gotta keep yourself up. Now if you need encouragement in getting back to your true identity, then check out this post. I go into detail about how I took a much-needed step in regaining my identity once becoming a mom. These goals that you set are for you. I want you to dig deep and find something that you really want to accomplish this year. Set a short term goal of 6 months, then again for the next 6 months. It is imperative that you are honest with yourself so that you can give it your all.

These are 3 of the top things that I want for you to take into consideration as we approach 2021. Of course, there will be a ton of advice that I will share, but these are the foundations. Be intentional ladies! Stop doing things that you feel are a waste of time. Eliminate things that take up a lot of your time. I know your kids are still excited about all of those Christmas gifts, but sis, who cleans it up?! I’ll wait……Put some of those toys away and change them out monthly…Ain’t nobody picking up all those toys daily. Be Intentional!!!

Let me know what you think or what you could use some advice on. Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram where I share more tips!

Happy New Year!!

Categories: Rediscovering Me

Authentic Happiness

Have you ever just sat back and wondered, “How happy am I really?” This question is very common, but many will not take the steps to discover their true happiness. As mothers we go through different hormonal changes that will take us from feeling like the top of the world to just wanting to be in bed all day. There are names like postpartum depression and baby blues that are often thrown out there, but what about just feeling differently because now I’m a whole MOM!

It seems like that is not often discussed. Sure my shape my change, my hair may go through some shedding, but what about this new title….like who am I now?! This was my unexplained happiness after I had my first child in 2013. I quickly began blaming my husband for everything, and not smiling and laughing like I had before becoming a mom. Yes, I did seek therapy to make sure I wasn’t suffering from depression, but that was not the case. There was something missing.

Family and friends didn’t see a change in me, but I felt it and it was deep. I couldn’t explain it to anyone because I felt like I just didn’t have the words to describe the feeling. Truth is, I’m not even sure if I knew what it was that I was experiencing. Then 3.5 years later, baby number 2 was born. And it started all over again. (Yeah, social media makes everything look good) I again spoke with my doctor and was told that I did not show the signs of depression, not even postpartum depression. I kept pushing and began growing my relationship with Christ, then I realized I was simply grieving “Pre-Mom Summer”. Now don’t get me wrong, I am forever grateful for my girls…I would have 5 more if I could, but I no longer had the time to put time into myself….I had indeed lost myself in motherhood.

I tried new hairstyles, made trips to the nail salon, my husband even took me shopping. But, nope that wasn’t it either. In 2019 I began therapy and my therapist agreed that I was not suffering from depression, but I needed to rediscover myself as a mom. What did I want or what did I think was holding my happiness hostage? Take a quick guess….It was my HAIR!!! Uggh, imagine the shock but so many people admired my natural hair. I had no idea that my hair had such a huge impression ON ME!!

On October 17, 2020 I finally loc’d my hair, and when I tell you a girl feels AMAZING!!! It’s like I walked out of the salon as a brand new woman. I woman who felt as beautiful as my husband tells me. A woman who’s as fancy as two little girls proclaim. I was indeed that girl!!! Honey, 7 whole years I let my hair hold me back from happiness. You may read this and think, “Now Summer, that is crazy!” but its not. In my single days I rocked a fresh sew-in, then I did a big chop to natural hair…My hair flourished beautifully and I was loving it. After having kids my hair was thrown up into a dry bun and that is where it stayed until it was wash day again. Now, I can wake up, give it a quick spritz of water and oil, and baby….You can’t tell me nothing!! I’m at home looking and feeling cute!!!

I want to encourage you to find your happiness. I promise you it is there. It could be as simple as going for walk alone, but find your happiness and your peace.

You Need to Accept Yourselves Before Anyone Else Can

Conclusion: Putting Time into Ourselves is Vital because We’re All Worth it

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