Lifestyle – Page 2

Grieving During the Holidays

Man, this is one that I never imagined having to write about. This year has been one that I know no one in my family will ever forget. Let us rewind a little. I was raised in a small county, and most of my upbringing was by my grandparents. This year I lost my last grandparent…my Grams. It was so unexpected that even 6 months later, I’m trying to accept it. I want to call and ask what she wants for Christmas, or for her to ask why I decided to loc my hair, and when am I going to take them out…But I can only speak to her in my dreams.

My Grams was one that would keep it real with you at all times, rather you wanted to hear it or not…you got it. Her love was unconditional. She loved me as if I were her own child. Six months ago I booked an early morning flight trying to get to her in time, but I didn’t make it. I am blessed to know that she did hear my voice the day prior, but there is nothing that could prepare me to be in this world without her.

The past week has been pretty hard on ya girl. I cry at night because that’s when my mind is at ease and I’m not busy doing other things. I think about how this is the first Thanksgiving in my entire life without her. Like, what am I supposed to do? Do I pretend like I’m okay, because I am not. Do I cry all day and not enjoy food? Like, seriously..What do I do? Thankfully my therapist as given me tips on how to cope.

One tip is to do something in remembrance of her. I decided that I would bake a lemon meringue pie. I like to share these memories with my girls. My Grams used to make one on special occasions. She had this handheld beater that was indeed a workout because you had to keep cranking it until the meringue was just right. It will be my very first time making one, so look out for pictures on my Instagram to see how it turned out.

The second tip would be to include my family in my day. She suggested that I have a zoom call with family so that we can play games or just talk about Grams. Her exact words were, “There’s strength in numbers.” Most of us are in different time zones, but I hope that we can connect even for a moment.

I’m sure that most of us have experienced an overwhelming sense of loss this year. It could be a loved one, a job, or just a sense of security. I want to encourage you to let your emotions be free. Don’t hold them in. If you want to cry, then cry. I promise you that my tears are far from being dry. I paused a few times while writing this just to cry. I miss my Grams more than anything in the world. It’s like a part of my heart is gone..forever. I am grateful to still see and hear her in my dreams. I sing songs that God has placed in my heart that I have not heard in YEARS, and they were songs that she would sing. I know she is telling Him that I need it…and I do…for a lifetime.

I love you Grams. And Happy Thanksgiving

Categories: Lifestyle

Easing Election Anxiety

I never even knew this was a thing until I became a mother. I never really worried about the situations of the world prior to becoming a parent because I mean, I only had to worry about me and my husband and we are adults. But now….I can’t even think about what’s going on in the world without shedding a couple of tears.

Now, this isn’t a post about who I hope will win, but it is a post about the situations that can occur regardless of who wins. I wanted to share a few things that possibly help distract you from getting caught up in negative emotions regarding the election.

Stay off Social Media I know this will be a hard task. This is mostly where I get a lot of my information from. But this is also where a lot of misinformation take place. Be extremely careful when reading into the emotions of others. There will be all types of things being said that will surely send the most sane person crazy. At this point, I can’t even say TikTok is a place to go…Just leave it all alone on election day. And this leads to my next suggestion…

Board Games This is the perfect way to stay distracted from social media. Bring out the games and create memories. One of our favorite games is UNO. My girls are great at this game, and its also educational. You know we have to throw in something educational whenever we can. If you have older children a great alternative would be the Nintendo Switch. I honestly love having a dance battle with my nephew. Make it fun, and be creative! And this leads to my next suggestion…

Get creative So nothing this year has been “normal”, so our creative juices have been on overload since March. One thing I like to switch up are meal ideas. We might have breakfast for dinner, or everyone make their own pizzas. The girls really enjoy making their own specialty pizzas..lets just say there’s always a lot of pineapples involved. You can also take it up a notch and do a family “paint and sip”..I mean of course the sip has to be apple juice or milk, but having fun is the objective.

I really hope these ideas can assist you in finding relief of election anxiety. If you need to seek therapy, please do so. It is completely normal to feel this way. As mentioned before, I am scared. I am aware of the racial tensions that are geared towards people of color. I am aware that a majority of this election has brought out the worse in individuals. It is frightening as a parent, and as a black woman I am hurt. I am hurt that I have to endure the same pain my parents and grandparents had to endure. I didn’t want to feel this, but it is here and it is very real.

I am praying for whomever is reading this and needs comfort. Please know that you are not alone in feeling this way.

Join me and other moms in my Facebook Community as we lift each in this time of uncertainty.

https://www.facebook.com/lifewithsummerrenee.

Categories: Lifestyle

Why I Homeschool

“Why did you homeschool your girls?” I have been hit with the questions more times than I can count. Along with all the stereotypes thrown at me about what they are missing due to being homeschooled. Thankfully, I have a very strong support system and a strong come back game, so if someone asks this question…it is their last time. (Insert smirk)

When my husband and I decided to have children we never thought nor considered homeschooling our kids as an option. We did look into the best public and private schools. I laugh now, but being homeschooled to me seemed like Wednesday from the Addams family when she said she is “cage schooled”, but it is far from that…I promise you. So I decided it would be best to breakdown a few reasons that why we choose that the best option for our family is to homeschool.

Safety has to be one of our top reasons as to why we homeschool. I’m sure you are aware of the increase in school shootings over the recent years. I can not imagine the horror those parents faced when they received the notifications on their phones or across the television. Our oldest was in public school for 3 months as I was pursuing my nursing degree and I legit camped outside the school for the first week. I just could not leave my baby there alone! It was short-lived and that brings us to another safety issue which is bullying. Kids can be so mean, and some adults will have the “suck it up ” attitude as if this is just a normal part of growing up. My girls have totally different personalities, but my oldest is my gentle one. She just loves everyone and can’t for the life of her understand why people want to be mean. Unfortunately, she did experience bullying from a kid, and that was the last straw for me. We refused to let this experience have a lasting effect on her, which will result in self doubt.

Natural talents are often neglected in school systems. No jabs to those who are teachers or who can not homeschool, but there is a system that has to be followed, and often times kids with special talents are often overlooked. With homeschooling we have the ability to allow the girls to perfect their natural crafts. Living in California has made this super easy because there are so many organizations that allow children to learn outside of the classroom. Due to COVID, we have had to move a lot of our activities online, but they are still learning. My 7 year old draws better than I ever have and it is completely natural to her. She owes that to her father. Both of my girls are also active in ballet, and other social cultural activities.

Cultural diversity has not been our normal since becoming parents. We have been stationed in areas that lack diversity. In many situations we are the only black family at the grocery store, movie theater, and classroom. I did not feel comfortable with having my girls in the areas that are not accustomed to children of color. I can hear your thoughts, “Oh, come on!!” Nope, I have experienced situations that were racially provoked, and it would just be unfair to put my kids in the situation to not be able to protect themselves. Now this is not the reality of many people, and I understand. But it is our reality. I could write an entire blog about this (and maybe I will) but it is sad to admit that we have to watch our children the same way my grandparents had to watch my parents. Sad, but true.

Travel is such an amazing perk of homeschooling. Since we are a military family my husband can’t always take leave when good deals are revealed, but we can drop everything and leave when it is granted! Awesome right?! And guess what? We also go on vacation when everyone else is in school, so can you say saving money!!!!! Also there are less crowds and we can link up with other homeschool families. I guess this is why people think we ballin out of control! HA! GOTCHA! Pre-Rona we experienced a ton of new experiences.

Love. I love my girls. I love being around them and having them close to me. I love being their example, and having new experiences with them. This blog is about honesty right? So let me be honest. Do I get tired? Yes! Do I wish some days I could send them to a class so I could have a moment alone? Yes!!! But it is worth me not being available to them right now? No its not. They need me in this overly cruel world right now. Prayerfully things will change one day, or I can at least trust the environment enough to allow them to take part in activities away from the homeschool life, but right now this is best.

Now, I don’t expect everyone to agree with my reasons, but this is my reality. We are a military family which means constant change. Homeschool life brings a sense of normalcy for the girls and our family. We do not have to worry about shot records, transcripts, and all of the other things that other families have to when moving from one state, or country, to the next. I also stand strongly next to those who choose to send their kids to school. It is so amazing to have the choices that we do but make sure to just do what is best for you and your family

Categories: Lifestyle

Stay At Home Mom Life

I spend more and more time at my desk these days, doing everything from preparing the family schedules to working on this blog. Because of this, my workspace is constantly changing. Holding the clutter at bay is challenging, so I prefer to keep nearby only a few quality items that serve multiple purposes over a stockpile of things I might never need. Let’s get into the realness of being a SAHM.

Categories: Lifestyle

Gardening & Baking

Who me? Crafty? I wouldn’t say that I am crafty, but I can follow a good recipe and execute a great gardening plan. I recently started gardening to help with the grieving process that many of us have unfortunately witness during the year 2020. Care to watch me whip up a cake or two? Or see if my garden? Stay tuned….

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